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I 8am.

It rang. It rang. I groaned. I rolled. I tossed. I turned. It rang, rang. I awoke. I squinted. I yawned. I stretched.

I yawned. I stumbled. I watched. I looked. I found. I stumbled. I saw. I gasped.

I dressed. I rushed. I zipped. I rushed. I buttoned, buttoned, buttoned. I grabbed. I gathered. I composed.

I turned. I opened. I passed. I shut. I locked.

I ran. I ran.

colbie caillat

10/16/09 @ Roseland Ballroom, NYC

this is so my song
this makes me laugh, the things i have yet to experience (falling backwards in my chair) will probably also make me laugh...


Apr. 21st, 2009

i'm going to nyu my friends. yes it is final. i mailed the check yesterday.

i must say i do admire the path my life is on. financially, emotionally, morally (don't get me wrong, i have no regrets), socially, it's all so so good.

finally there is enough love in the world. i should never be lost again. but just incase i bought a gps yesterday.

Mar. 1st, 2009

i need ideas...

what am i going to do tomorrow?

my life feels almost aimless at this point...


meet my new friends
so, i'm almost officially a server now. i've got the test and several days training under my belt. i'm officially a "seafood expert", though i must be honest, i know very little about seafood. a good old crew member of mine took the seafood test for me, gotta love him. all that's really left in the training is to tomorrow, kinda round it all off, then at night i have a scheduled shift as alley coordinator. i get to work in the kitchen on a friday night putting plates of food together... joy. one, it's always really hot in the kitchen so i will be sweating, two, i don't know what all the plates even are :/ saturday night i just have to deliver food to tables, easy. and somewhere in there i have to wait on one of the managers O_O
other than that... i've had a really relaxed week getting off work so early. i don't really know what i'm going to do over the weekend yet. i know i need to go to the gym, seriously. and sunday bryan and i are making lasagna? i think. which will actually be more like bryan making lasagna and me watching because i just make a mess when it comes to cooking.
anyways... i think i'm going to go off and clean, i don't have much else to do and yeah... you can never clean up too much. i started taking down the wallpaper in my dining room and it's a mess here. i had to take all the books of my gigantic bookshelf so i have book stacks everywhere. everything's pulled out and it's just a little too crazy for me to handle anymore. time to put on some upbeat music and get to work ;)

honesty (:

once upon a time...
i had a life void of all social drama.
why is it that as your social network and relationships grow, the drama stacks up? is it the people? the places? the past? though i'm not too bad off honestly. don't get me wrong, i still lead a generally cheerful and worry-free life. i only find myself more active in gossip, problems arise within the community. i guess i'm sort of involved, indirectly. but you know what my ticket out of all this mess is??
i say what i feel and i say what i think. had a good conversation just now. i understand completely how it would feel to be that person. i understand why they wouldn't like me. though funny how, through the conversation and previous ones, they don't hate me, they actually kinda like me... granted we're still in the process of talking it out and true friendship is still a ways down the road, it is in the works. why? honesty. i said, i like you, she said, i like you too. why is this boy coming between us?
there needs to be more honesty in the world. if we were all honest from the start there would be no problems. there is only one thing i cannot grasp. why does this issue seem so much simpler to me? maybe i don't understand it, i know i don't know all the details, but really... why can't we just talk about it?
and we all want to live together next year in the same house hahahahaha...

in my other world... work. i worked 10 hours today without a break. i know, it is a little crazy. i got close to overtime this week. tuesday is the official start to my server training. at the moment, i'm excited. but i will definitely keep you updated on how that goes... monday is my day off, it's going to be great. i don't have any plans yet, but it's going to be good. go to the gym... get some groceries... it's all good.
anyways... i guess this is where i stop writing and go to sleep. this dramatic situation kinda broke up what we were all doing. of course, i'm the one to get left out. the whole thing is apparently far beyond my comprehension as a simple human being.

Feb. 12th, 2009

who's ready for summer?? i am.
i went to san marcos today and shopped it up. probably too much actually... now i need to go somewhere so i can wear my new stuff :/
i'm going to college station again the last weekend of february. and i'm going camping over spring break :D
there is a lot to be excited about. except college :/ i don't know where i want to go. today is an nyu day... i just wish i knew one way or another. if i was accepted, or not. if i should go to a&m, or not...
anyways, i suppose i shouldn't stay around too much longer. i still have to fold and put away laundry. i have to work tomorrow at 11:30 and then at 4... basically, i don't get a break. i'm going to work straight through and i'm not going to get to eat the whole time.
i guess i just feel kinda blah too. i need to cheer up because i don't have a boring life. people at work have been kinda bothering me too. i really shouldn't let it get to me since they're really not important and they don't care about me. i'm just tired of rude comments and people who are so immature that they can't talk about why they're mad at me, if that's even the case. seriously, if there's an issue, let's talk about it. i'm tired of walking around avoiding people's glances.
on a happier note, i have a new friend :) so i'm really trying to let the work situation not get to me. i know there are people that do care how i feel.
i need to surround myself with positivity.

Feb. 3rd, 2009

well i'm typing this and back dating it because of course when i finally want to update my livejournal the site is undergoing maintenance. anyways... i also have nothing to do because i was watching a movie earlier and i was drinking this can of soda... well i haven't finished it and kinda have to because otherwise it would be a waste. and i can't save it cause it'll go flat, etc etc.
anyways... i got a box of stuff for my birthday yesterday from my friends in holland. it was really great. i got two tea cups which were really cute and loads of tea bags!!! i don't know if it's just me but the tea there is soooo much better. there's one brand that i really like and unfortunately i can't find it here. they also sent me a dvd. they recorded a bunch of stuff and a bunch of people saying happy birthday and stuff like that. i was soooo surprised! i had no idea it would be something like that and i really liked it! i got all sad though watching it because i really wish i could be there. it was such a good idea! i guess maybe if i get the chance i might do something like that too.
which reminds me that my external hard drive isn't working... until i figure that out i wouldnt be able to. i still have all this video on my tapes that i haven't copied to my computer yet. i should probably do something with it too... maybe tomorrow if i get around to it. i could make a video from my trip to sweden and from my going away party, might be kinda fun.
besides that... nothing really exciting had happened. oh yeah, except my trip to college station haha. that was actually really random. i decided less than a week before to go and yeah... i kinda weaseled my way out of working saturday and sunday and while i will definitely be taking a loss, it was worth it. so yeah, i drove up at about 10pm. overall it was a lot of hanging out, eating out, partying, walking around, a tour from cynthia, and yeah... i was just really happy to see everyone because it's rare (except for winter break) that i get that chance. and also to meet new people, that was cool and yeah... if i have to go to school there next year it will not be a bad thing.
though now i hear that lots of people are getting sick... that kinda worries me. i'm probably battling strep throat at the moment. i usually don't get sick and really can't think of the last time i had something that wasn't allergy related. i mean yeah, allergies, i definitely have plenty of those but getting truly sick is rare. i hope i can pull through again. though the more i hear it the more paranoid i'm sure i'm getting. i keep thinking, oh no, was that cough because i'm sick? did my voice just crack because i have a sore throat coming on? i guess we will see... it wouldn't be surprising if i did have it considering all the sharing that was going on.
well.. livejournal should be up in another 4 minutes... it better be because i don't really wanna keep waiting and i'd like to just post this and go to bed. hmm.. what else can i say in the mean time?? i need a hobby. yep, it's true. i don't wanna sit here for months doing nothing at the times when i don't have to work.
oh yeah, and The Golden Compass is a stupid movie. it was a waste of my netflix time. i thought it was really cheesy. it could have had potential to be really interesting and thrilling if the lead rolls weren't played by children. i didn't really understand the purpose of that. except to make it appealing to other children. but that's also not reasonable because children are a smaller audience and you're not going to make nearly as much off a kid's film as opposed to something pg13 rated.
anyways... i'm tired now. my soda is gone and there's no way i'm going to keep waiting for livejournal to come up. how annoying... rawr. i'm just going to hope that i don't wake up dead :(